I Have A Dream, And It's A Wet One...

Rosa Parks is gone, and Renee Thomas has stepped up, and shaken her ass, to take her place. Most of you
know the story of Rosa Parks. She was a black lady who refused to give up her seat to a white man. Thanks
to her, black women don't have to give up their seats to white people when they ride buses. Yes, it's true.

Apparently, there was a time when white people rode buses.

You may not know her name, but Renee Thomas' story is gaining national attention. Like Rosa Parks, Renee
was tired after a long day of work. She just wanted to relax and have sex with fellow Carolina Panthers
cheerleader Angela Keathley in a public restroom. Like Rosa Parks, Renee was arrested.

That's what happens to pioneers. Let's make sure that Renee's arrest is not in vain. Something needs to be
done to protect the rights of hot lesbian cheerleaders to fuck in public bathrooms.

Someone needs to organize massive protests. A Million Muff Muncher March if you will. I see thousands
of cheerleaders in tight white t-shirts marching on Washington. They start to riot. They hurl pom-poms at
the police. They make rude formations, and do cheers that are not only mean spirited, but that also show
little regard for traditional rhyme schemes and meter. A couple of the girls go at it in the Lincoln Memorial,
right on Lincoln's lap!

Then the police have no choice but to turn the fire hoses on them. The cheerleaders scream as their shaky
pyramids come crashing down. Their firm young breasts heave under gauzy white t-shirts that are now
suddenly translucent. The cold water causes their nipples to stiffen and to reach new heights in rigidity!
Some of the cheerleaders remove their soaking panties in protest. Hopefully, the major news outlets will
realize the historical significance of this moment and show it over and over again: ideally in slow motion.

I know what you're thinking. Angela Keathley is not that hot. She has a huge nose. But you're probably
thinking about her mug shot. I'm sure with some make-up she looks pretty good. In the mug shot she does
not have any on. Why? Because while you were sitting at home ignoring injustice all around you, Angela
had her face buried in Renee Thomas' lap: licking, sucking, nibbling, and fighting for what she believed in.
And if her carefully applied lipstick, eyeliner, and blush were reduced to nothing more than random
splotches on Thomas' creamy thighs, I think that's a small price to pay for liberty.

And don't forget the Panther TopCats are hardly the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Some of them are
real pigs. A lot of them look like old transvestites. I would have probably done Meagan, Allison or Misty.
Meagan is the hottest, but Misty looks really slutty, and she has that stripper name.

Cheerleaders need to organize fuck-ins. There should be cheerleaders fucking in every bathroom in the
country. And it shouldn't be just cheerleaders: all hot lesbians need to do their part. Are you listening
Rosie O'Donnell? Stay home.

And on the subject of Rosie, why has Hollywood been silent? Where is Denise Richards, who owes her
entire career to her Sapphic turn in "Wild Things".

Where are Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly? Where is Portia de Rossi? Why are they not speaking out?
And more importantly, why are they not making out?

I have a dream, that one day, in the not so distant future; a small child will look up at me in wild eyed
wonder and ask, "Grandpa, is it true there was a time when cheerleaders were not allowed to have sex
in public restrooms?" I'll just laugh and say, "Yes, but that was a long time ago." He'll smile as a wave of
relief washes over him. Then I'll tell him he was adopted and he'll cry like a little bitch.